How to Love Yourself & Have Confidence
For many of us, practicing self-love can feel selfish, narcissistic, and indulgent. I’m here to tell you that if you feel those things while practicing self-love, you’re likely severely deficient in self-love. As a daughter of Vietnam War boat refugees, I didn’t have any role models who practiced self-love. Rather, I had role models who had to survive and sacrifice a lot for the “American Dream”. Most directly, I had my mom who worked tirelessly and gave up a lot of joys in life.
My mom’s hard work and being inspired by it helped me finish medical school and residency. But it also led me to have health issues because I kept being productive and finding ways to do more. I had limiting beliefs like naps and rest were a waste of time. It led to me going to the emergency room several times and being diagnosed with two autoimmune conditions.
With gratitude to my elders for all that they sacrificed and because of their struggles, I now have the choice to be different and live differently. Instead of working tirelessly because I have to survive, my priorities are different from my elders. My priorities are inner peace, a thriving life, and fulfillment.
If you struggle with loving yourself and having confidence, I encourage you to find the activities or people that make this struggle harder. Is it possible to do less of those things? Spend time with less of those people? And on the other end, what activities or who makes having self-love and confidence easier for you? How can you fit more of those activities and people into your life?
If you’re struggling with having ideas on how to love yourself and have confidence, I’ll share with you a list I posted on Instagram that ended up being my most saved Instagram post! I hope it helps.
In no particular order:
1. Delete or limit screen time on social media or unfollow/mute people whom you don't feel good after seeing their posts 🤳
2. Follow positive folks on social media. Flood your feed with positivity! Mess your algorithm up if it’s not there yet.
3. Practice gratitude daily. List 3 different things every morning in where you like to journal. List 3 amazing things that happened each day in the evening before you sleep.
4. Read books on personal development 📚. Check out my Resources page for suggestions.
5. Practice positive affirmations. I write at least 1 in my journal every morning. You may also choose to listen to affirmations like Affirmation Pod.
6. Meditate or focus on your breathing 🧘🏻♀️
7. Nourish your body with whole, unprocessed foods
8. Nourish your body with physical activity. My favorites are outdoor walking, yoga, and pole dancing 💃🏻
9. Look in the mirror, stare into your eyes, and repeat to yourself "I am enough. I love you." & smile at yo beautiful self 🪞
10. Watch videos on YT or listen to podcasts on "How to Love Myself", "How to have Confidence" and watch them all so they can be even more ingrained in your head. We're trying to conquer a lifetime of conditioning here!
11. Spend time in nature. Feel the grass with your bare feet 🌻
12. Journal for self-discovery 📓
13. Recognize that this is an ongoing journey. Be proud of how far you've already come!
And that is my, for sure, incomplete list! What would you add? What is something you’d love to experiment with?
Remember, doing some of these exercises is going to feel awkward, weird, and unnatural. This is normal. I encourage you to keep at it.
If you’re ready to transform your self-doubt into self-love, invest in yourself with my 1:1 coaching package and step into your power. Schedule a free consultation now.
