Mindful Holidays: Navigating Family Gatherings with Presence and Compassion
“If you think you’re enlightened, go spend a week with your family.”
- Ram Dass
If you’re like me and you’ve started your decolonial work and healing journey, the holidays can be a tricky time. On one end, it’s a time when people have the dates off from work so we’re excitedly making plans with each other. On the other hand, diving deep into the origins of holidays, the gluttony, and the materialism that seems to take over the holidays seems far from what we’re intentionally practicing on a daily basis. I’m still sitting with the questions of how to navigate both.
My hope is to share some of my personal mindfulness practices that can help cultivate presence and connection with those we care about the most during the holiday season.
Set some intentions:
What do you hope to get out of the holidays?
What do the holidays mean to you?
What do you want to feel?
What makes it important to you to spend time with your family or your chosen family?
If you’re spending it solo, how can you make a solo holiday season nurturing, nourishing, and soul-giving?
Is there anything you’d like to do differently this holiday season? If yes, what are they? What are your strategies to make it happen?
Prioritize supportive practices:
If you have a meditative or breathwork practice, prioritize them and maybe even practice them more often during the holidays.
If you’re sensitive to energies like me, and the holiday buzz gets overwhelming, it’s crucial to set time and moments aside to do practices that give you energy. Also, a gentle reminder that what’s yours is yours, and what’s theirs is theirs (energy-wise).
Create a grounding practice if there’s a heated moment that you can return to with folks around you. One I learned recently and one that I return to when I’m in public is rubbing your thumb and pointing finger together gently so you can feel the ridges.
Set boundaries:
If your family is anything like mine, there are some major differing political and world views. One of my boundaries is having my husband there with me whenever these topics come up. I’ve upheld my boundary for years now and it still works for me to lessen my emotional triggers. The way I see it is that my parents still view me as their daughter (their child), but they’ve only known my husband as an adult man so they listen to him more (the patriarchy 🙄). The big picture for me here is that if he can help them see any other viewpoint except their own, it’s a win. And I’m fine with him leading that conversation.
What are your boundaries? How do you plan on upholding them?
Embrace gratitude:
Reflect on your year and cultivate gratitude. What are you grateful for?
Express it out loud to your loved ones and be as specific as possible.
A gratitude practice shifts a sense of lack to a sense of the abundance that you already have.
Cultivate compassion:
If there’s a relative you have a really hard time extending empathy to, a strategy to try is to visualize them as a child. The hope is to see them as an innocent child before the world shaped them into their adult selves.
Visualize their inner child and see if it’s easier to extend grace and compassion to them, even if there are disagreements.
I hope this list helps you find some mindfulness during your holiday season. I know it means different things to different people, so whatever it is for you, I wish you inner peace, calm, joy, and connection. Remember, mindfulness is not about perfection but rather being present with yourself or those you choose to spend the holidays with, finding acceptance and compassion. Embrace the imperfections of the season, cherish the moments of connection, and allow yourself to experience the true essence of the holidays.
Was this helpful? If you’re struggling with a specific situation and would like some personal, individualized, guidance, I invite you to schedule a free coaching session with me where we can collaborate, dive deeper into your situation, and strategize on how to move forward in your unique circumstance. Rooting for you during this holiday season!
